How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
