how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
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