So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Randomize
