Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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