He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
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I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
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But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
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