She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize