I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
ugly people sure do ruin things
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Randomize
