I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
