Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
Randomize