I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
Randomize
