i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
Randomize
