i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
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that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
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