the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Randomize
