You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
Randomize
