i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
