rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
tell me about the fingering
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