Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
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