even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
Operation Purity has been aborted
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
Never underestimate the power of titties
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
