It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
You need a sexual gate keeper
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
Randomize
