i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Randomize
