Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
Randomize