pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
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