Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
Randomize
