I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
Randomize
