exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
Also, beer. Big fan.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Randomize
