recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
Randomize
