There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
Randomize