I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
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