I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
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