Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit