why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
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he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
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just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
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