mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
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