8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
I need a hoe opinion
go on
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
Randomize
