Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
Randomize
