The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize