I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
Randomize
