Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
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