My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
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