chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
Randomize
