I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Randomize
