shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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