When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
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