Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
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