my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
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