I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
