problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
Randomize
