I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
Randomize
