you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
I love having hate sex.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
Randomize
