So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
Randomize
