You know the @ sign on twitter? i wish there was one of those in real life so that the smokin' hot guy at the bar would know the slutty unbuttoning of my shirt was directed @ him, not @ his friend who looks like Mickey Rourke post-face melting
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
Are we still banned from the library?
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
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