I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
