just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
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