There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
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