So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
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Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
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She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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