I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
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