summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
