can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
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