It's like God shit irony all over that family
Girls should come with a carfax report
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize