problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Randomize
