she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
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