Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
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